It seems like I never get a moment alone anymore. The big kids have been out of school since December 12th, and the little ones are always home. I have heard about other mothers of preschoolers hiding in the bathroom to have a moment alone, but I can’t even manage that. As soon as I mention to anyone that I’m going to the restroom, the twins run ahead of me and stand against the wall right in front of the toilet. They have “assigned” places too. It’s quite comical.
Evenings are difficult with the younger ones wanting to eat early and wanting to be held while I’m trying to prepare dinner. The older ones usually choose this time to watch TV or start arguing, both of which add more noise to the toddlers’ fussing. Noise stresses me out. I hate to have the TV just on. I don’t even care about having music playing in the background. Silence is golden. Whining, crying, fussing, arguing, noise, noise, NOISE! (I’m starting to sound like the Grinch.)
A couple nights ago, I was working on dinner when I realized it was relatively quiet, and I was the only one in the kitchen. I could hear the twins playing nicely together in the game room, and the big kids were down at their grandparents’ house. I almost missed the little ones hanging on my clothes, trying to get me to pick them up. I almost missed the big kids underfoot, trying to help prepare dinner and set the table. Almost. Instead, I relished the peace and quiet for the few short moments that it lasted.
One day they will all grow up and move out, and then I will miss them being in the kitchen. I love my children and cherish our quality time together. Sometimes there is just too much quantity time together (too many children and too many hours with all of them). They wear me out mentally and physically.
One of the twins fell asleep in my lap thirty minutes ago, so the others walked down to their grandparents’ house. I’ve been sitting here in relative silence, rocking my youngest while the fire burns in the fireplace. I think I’m ready to face the chaos of preparing dinner now.