What I Wish Everyone Knew Before Visiting Our House


Yesterday I was rushing around trying to prepare for a play date at our house with another mom of four, two of which are 17 month old twins.  At some point, my chest started hurting (nothing to worry about, just discomfort), so I sat down to catch my breath and posted the following on Facebook. 

If you ever visit our house, please know:
1) I have twins,
2) those twins are 2 years old,
3) those twins wake up around 6:15 every morning,
4) those twins do not take a nap,
5) those twins make more messes, get into more things, destroy more things, and escape from the house more than you can imagine,
6) I also have two older children who fight constantly, and
7) we do not pay anyone to clean our house.
Please adjust your expectations accordingly.

The response to my venting has been overwhelmingly positive with so many moms responding that they feel the same way whether they have twins or boys or young children or older children.  Other moms have replied that they feel the same pressure to be a perfect mom, have a spotless house, and have perfect kids, none of which is possible.  I have seen this image a few times on Facebook and love it (except for the lonely part). 

While I was worried yesterday about how my house looked and how little makeup I was able to throw on at the last minute, my friend who visited said she was worried about one of her girls looking scraggly and her son whining, neither of which were noticed by me.  We put too much pressure on ourselves, and as it turns out, we are the only ones who notice our little insecurities, so let’s try to lighten up and give ourselves as much grace as our friends.


About Leslie

I am a mother of four, who loves organization but is dealt a new hand of chaos each day. I love Jesus and each of my unique children. I strive to foster these relationships and bring a little organization to our chaotic home. I want to be a better blogger, but, truthfully, this is just not as high on my priority list as the aforementioned relationships or the state of our home.

3 responses »

  1. You said it very well Leslie. Even though I am retired now, I don’t keep my house any cleaner than I did when I worked full time. I seem to find other things to do or not do!! The way I look at it, if someone comes to my house and don’t like what they see as far as cleanliness, then they don’t have to come back.

  2. Dear sweet Leslie, Yes, we all have felt as you do.  It doesn’t matter if you have one child or four as you do.  God never gives more than we can handle and we if we have one child, for whatever reason, that is God’s plan for us.  You are so right when you say that we are the only one that sees our insecurities.  I can remember when Heather was little I had to be so much better because I had just the one child.  I didn’t have the pressures of multiple children to deal with so I “should” be doing so much better.  I wanted to make sure that no one ever said, “Oh you can tell that she is an only child”.  I look back now and see that I missed so much fun and good times because I was so determined that Heather did not appear spoiled and manipulative.  Now with my grand kids, even though I have much more time, I never miss a moment of playing, acting silly or just sitting and listening to them.  Skyler spent the night last night and all of a sudden she came over to me, gave me a big hug and said, “I’m so glad you’re like you are and we are so close”.  That meant the world to me.   There will always be someone who thinks you don’t do enough, someone who thinks you do too much, someone who doesn’t think your house is clean enough and someone who doesn’t understand how you can keep your house so clean and organized.  You will never please everyone.  The only one you have to please is God.  Keep yourself pleased, your husband and children pleased and happy, they are the ones that really matter.  All the other people will come and go in your life but these are the ones that will always be there to love you, support you and someday, maybe not now, will understand and accept the fact that everything you did was out of love and respect for them.  It takes kids until they are adults to see and understand that you never did anything to hurt them or damage them.  We are human and we make mistakes.  It’s OK, if God can forgive us, forgive yourself. You are a wonderful mother and wife.   We are so blessed to have you in our family. Take care and I look forward to seeing you and your family. Love,Cyndi

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